Love Can Be More Than Annoying
by Tammaiya
Summary: Oh dear. Written when we were, young, naive, and ignorant of slash. Only read if you appreciate truly AWFUL Yuffie/Vincent fluff. Yet, it still retains a place in our hearts...
1. Of Mice and Men (Cute Men!)

Chapter 1- Of Pizza's and Men (Cute Men

Chapter 1- Of Pizza's and Men (Cute Men!)

+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+

Authors: Hi! This is our first fanfic on Fanfiction.net, despite multiple promises to ourselves to submit various half-finished fics of various descriptions ^^;;; This is a little joint fluff fic written via phone on the last day of holidays for all those who love Vincent/Yuffie…The real purpose of this authors note was that Vincent is just a liiiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit out of character… as in… he makes pottery! But we always thought our Vincy-wincy was an artistic soul at heart! Aaaaaaaaaah… Vincent goodness… drool… This is the first offering. It's about pizzas. And Men. And ninjas. And much breaking of crockery… Just read the damn thing already! ^_^ Oh, and review us… pleeeeeease… We are sad little people whose lives revolve around YOUR reviews. Don't be worried about flaming us if it's crap, though… o_~ Oh yeah, and… *sob* SQUARESOFT OWNS VINCY AND WE DON'T! Same goes for every other character from FF7…

+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+

The sea was a soft grey, reflecting the sombre clouds looming above it.

'Is it all… worth it?'

Cold spray splattered over an unflinching face staring steadily into the horizon. The harsh breeze ruffled an untamed black mane, momentarily flickering across scarlet eyes deep and full of pain. For an instant the silhouette's arm was held aloft, details indistinguishable in the twilight, but something was… wrong. Something about the darkening shape, the smooth curve, the deadly sick appendages rising almost… mechanically, was somehow grotesque…Clenched in the grip of this unnerving limb was a tiny scrap of material, worn and grimy. On close inspection, the cloth might have been thought to once have held a pattern of daisies, but these were now all but lost under decades of dirt, stains and in dark brown splashes the unmistakable traces of blood.

'Lucrecia…'

Suddenly, his deep reflective mood was interrupted by an enormous bundle of noise and energy in the form of a teenage girl jumping on him from behind in a mass of limbs and armour.

'HI VINCY-WINCY!' The girl screamed as she landed on him. Unprepared for this as he was, he found himself up to his neck in seawater, gasping and spluttering for air.

'Oh, did you get WET? Poor Vincy-wincy! Bet you're wondering what I'm doing here, huh? Well you know what? That mean and awful daddy o' mine chucked me out and said I had to learn responsibility or something, I wasn't really listening, and none of the others wanted me for some reason, Cait Sith laughed at me, but you love me, don't ya Vincy-wincy? Ooh, what are we having for dinner? Pizza? I LOVE pizza! YAY!'

Put under this tirade of hyperactive excitable babble, poor Vincent didn't stand a chance. He merely stood there blinking in confusion as the young thief Yuffie continued to talk. What had he done to deserve this, he wondered. At this rate, he would forget what peace was entirely. With a sigh, he set down to an evening of listening to Yuffie.

'Wow! Funky place you got here Vincy-wincy!' yelled the girl as she ran into Vincent's abode of 2 months, causing a few flakes to fall off the ceiling and multiple small animals to run in terror out the cave mouth, (luckily) unnoticed by Yuffie. 'You got the whole, like cave guy thing happening! COOL!' Vincent could only watch in despair as she stormed his carefully arranged home, knocking over furniture and throwing things around with gay abandon, and all the time pelting him with an unceasing bombardment of questions.

'Like, what's this, did ya carve it yourself, looks awful pretty, oops, you can mend it right? WOW, like an ancienty-type fireplace thingy, wow, what the hell is that…' came the shrill and breathless squeaking from somewhere in the interior of his cave. ' Like, WHAT is THIS? Do you reckon it could, like, hold my weight?' 

'Wait, no…' For the first time in months, Vincent broke into a full run, dashing desperately to the corner that served as his kitchen. He was just in time to hear an abominably loud crash, such as would be made by twenty pieces of crockery breaking simultaneously, and ran in to see a decidedly dusty Yuffie sprawled on the floor surrounded by the remains of his delicately handcrafted clay plates, cups and bowls.

'Oops…' She coughed, oblivious to the look of horror in Vincent's eyes as he knelt among the pieces. 'They were kinda nice, huh?' she said, picking up one ornately sculpted shard. Vincent said nothing. 'Oh well!' she cried, chucking the white clay over her shoulder, only half looking around at the resulting crash. 'Serves ya right for not making strong shelves! COME ON!'

She jumped to her feet and dived down to grab his hand, only to rapidly pull back her arm as she was confronted with his claw. Fear showed briefly in her eyes but was gone in another second as she grabbed his free arm and dragged him, stumbling, to explore the rest of his home.

'Wow! What a neat little sculpture thing you got here! How long did THIS one take you to make? Must of taken AGES… Oops! Oh well, guess you can make another one, right?' Yuffie babbled as she successfully saw and destroyed yet another handcrafted sculpture Vincent had worked on for months. 'I didn't know you were so ARTISTIC! Who would have thought you were more than just a freaky face?' Not even noticing that last comment, Vincent looked on in horrified despair as he watched her run around his cave like some kind of human cyclone, displaying her usual relaxed attitude about the importance of other people's possessions.

When she had finally finished in her spree of destruction, she looked at her surroundings critically. 'Kind of messy, huh?' Spinning around, she pounced on a pile of furs in the corner. 'Hey, can I sleep here? Cool, thanks Vincy-wincy! Yay!' Burying herself deep within the Behemoth hides, she turned Vincent with a happy look on her face.

'When's the pizza coming? Do they like deliver here or what? Can I get Meat lovers? And Ham and Pineapple? And a Super Supreme? And, and, and, a Chocobo deal, with garlic bread? You get a free materia with every meal!' Here the ninja began to drool at the thought of her two favourite subjects, food and materia, combined so deliciously. She brightened visibly. 'Oh yeah, and I want a Vegetarian as well!'

Vincent didn't bother explaining to her that she had just taken his bed, nor did he tell her he couldn't afford that many pizzas, especially not large which experience had taught him she would be demanding.Long years of experience with Yuffie had also taught him that to argue would futile. Instead, he just stood there and refused to move. There was a pause in which he avoided her gaze. Yuffie took a deep breath and began to yell.

'You ARE gonna get them for me, right? ……………. YOU'RE NOT, YOU DON'T LOVE ME EITHER WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!' She screamed as she sprang out of the furs to give her voice opportunity to reach its full pitch and potential.

'YOU'RE JUST GONNA ABANDON ME LIKE ALL THE OTHERS! HOW COULD YOU?!' She took a step towards the shocked and wincing Vincent, staring in anger with hot tear-filled eyes she continued.

'AND NOW YOU'VE MADE ME CRY! NOBODY LOVES ME…WAH HAH HAH HAAAAAAAAAAA!'

Normally Vincent would distraught by this display, but he had sat through many of Yuffie's identical tantrums that he was wondering whether they had lost their effect. Suddenly he shuddered as Yuffie's shrieking reached brand new heights.

'Urgh…' He clutched head in pain as Yuffie proceeded to burst his eardrums. They still had their effect…

'NOBODY WANTS ME AND YOU'RE JUST SO TERRIBLE AND WAH HAH HAAAAAAAA!' With a final wail, the hormonal teenage thief sank to her knees and collapsed, kicking and screaming on the sandy cave floor. Without a word, Vincent turned around and walked out of the cave. After a while, a small brown head popped up and yelled after his receding figure.

'So, was that like a YES?' 

+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+

With that, the first chapter ends. But the question still remains- WILL HE OR WILL HE NOT GET THE PIZZAS?!Hey, don't be surprised, we SAID it was fluff! Find out in the next chapter (and yes this thing actually has a cohesive plot), full of Vincy, Chocobos and a very pissed off ninja- Coming soon, _VINCY'S A PERVERT (in loud and annoying tones)_

+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+


	2. Melting Marshmellows!

He avoided going back for a while, but eventually realised that one way or the other he was going to have to return, and getti

Chapter 2- Melting Marsh mellows!

+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+

We're sorry, we lied! This chapter is not as promised Vincy's a Pervert! Nor is it about a very pissed off ninja… but it… KIND OF contains Vincy… and… it SORT OF has a Chocobo in it! We didn't mean to- we wanted to have them in it! We were only going to have a LITTLE Yuffie thinking- but she just kept thinking more and more stuff! Isn't she a bright little cookie? So eventually there was just no ROOM for Vincy, OR a pissed off ninja! *sob* This chapter, does, however, contain PARAGRAPHS! We later realised that that problem was due to laziness and a lax understanding of the entity on Celestina's part, her being the main typist. Don't worry, read this chapter and the next one will be the one we actually promised! And oh, yeah- Vincy (and FF7) still doesn't belong to us… But we can make him make him do pottery, so, hah! HAH! 

+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+

Smiling smugly, Yuffie jumped to feet and skipped happily over to the pile of rugs she dubbed her bed. The cave was lengthy and roundish, quite cosy but the long shadows on drawing on the walls made it appear much larger than it was. The floor was flat, covered in a thick layer of smooth sand, but currently strewn with broken objects. There was a crude fireplace, handcrafted out of clay, at the far end, with Vincent's ransacked bed lying adjacent to it. Flopping on it gleefully, Yuffie sprawled out and began to giggle. Well, that had gone well, hadn't it? She was a little worried about the pizza and everything; for a second there, she thought he might actually not have gone to get it! _But, I always win in the end…_ she thought, grabbing a pillow and hugging it. Running her fingers through the soft fur, she looked down at what she was clinging to. It was another monster hide, dull yellow, but showing green in the twilight.

'Wow…' She whispered. Vincent was sure good at… killing stuff. Relaxing against the furs, she let her mind wander over the topic of Vincent.

She vaguely remembered him; he was, like, always the freaky quiet dude, kinda mysterious, but also kind of… She had a sudden mental image of that terrible metal object attached to his arm. No! She thought, growing distinctly uneasy… _Think good Vincent thoughts! GOOD Vincent thoughts!_ She remembered trying to talk to him once or twice. Like, this one time, Cait Sith was being SO annoying, and like, nobody else was around, so she tried to talk to Vincent, but he said, like, NOTHING, so she yelled at him, and then he just babbled some weird phyco-schmyco stuff at her, like one day her youth would FADE only to reveal humanity's dark side, or whatever. Yuffie left him alone after that. Come to think of it, he was kinda different these days… Well, not TOTALLY different- he still wouldn't exactly win Mr Talkative of the year, but at least he wasn't moping over that Lucy chick or whatever all of the time. She heard Cloud talking about it sometimes-

Suddenly she shivered. Despite the warmth of the blankets, the cave was growing increasingly colder, and the sky she could see where she lay was turning a deep blue. Sighing, she was surprised to see her breath misting up the air before her.

'GAWD! This place must be like, FREEZING at night! Doesn't he have like, IN-CAVE HEATING or something?!'

Reluctantly leaving the soft safety of the hides, Yuffie searched futilely for a heating switch. 

'Like, damn!' she said, plonking herself down on the cold ground. 'I should have known that Vincent wasn't the kind of guy to have ANYTHING so convenient as heating! Well… I'm just gonna have to do it the OLD-FASHIONED way!' A maniacal look lit up the thief's eyes as she slowly reached into her pocket. 'With a FIRE MATERIA!'

Brandishing the green orb high above her head, Yuffie danced her way over to the clay fireplace, singing as she went.

'And a little bit of this, and a little bit of tha- AAAH! MY SHIN!' hopping in pain, she spun around to glare maliciously at the offending object lying prone at her feet. 'WHAT KIND OF IDIOT WOULD PUT A CHAIR _THERE_!' 

She looked at paya wood chair for a moment. Then in a fit of rage she picked it up and hurtled it at the wall, dodging the splinters as it shattered.

'… Stupid chair,' she pouted, looking half-guiltily at its broken remains. Then she brightened. 'Oh well! Firewood!'

It was several minutes later that Yuffie was sitting cross-legged in front of the newly-lit fire, warm and content, roasting a couple of fluff-covered half-eaten marshmallows she had found in the depths of her armour. She sighed as she lent back comfortably on the pillows that had once resided on the permanently messed up bed.

'This is SO much better than stupid old Wutai!' she chirped happily. Then a scowl darkened her features. 'And… stupid old… DAD!' the thief muttered, deliberately leaving off the usual daddy she used when she was in a good mood, or wanted something. What was all that stuff he had said during like, that big fight they had? That she was demanding? Yuffie was not demanding. Funny, Cait Sith had said something like that too, (after he laughed at her) when she'd come to ask to stay with him. But then, Cait Sith always said stuff like that, so it didn't really count… And so it wasn't that surprising that he wouldn't let her stay with him either. But it was so mean of the others not to let her stay with THEM! Cloud and Tifa… They weren't actually mean, they were just kind of cold… and distant… _HA! Tifa was probably just jealous of having a young, beautiful seventeen-year-old around to steal Cloud away from an old hag like HER! _Yuffie thought bitterly to herself. But she was surprised… she wasn't exactly expecting them to welcome her with like, open arms but she had sort of hoped… And it had been the same with all the others, too. Except for Cait Sith, she remembered angrily, cause he laughed at her! Some of her wounded pride recuperated itself. She'd get him back next time she saw him! She'd get him good!

But by the time she had come to see him, she had been desperate to stay with anyone, even someone like, as annoying as HIM! Cait Sith had actually been the second-last person she had come to see. 

Second last.

Yuffie knew why she had deliberately avoided coming to Vincent; yet she refused even to think about it. Pushing it from her mind as she had been doing all evening. Still, the thought hovered like a shadow on the border of her consciousness, and now in the darkness lit solely by the fire, than began creeping back.

It was if in the sunlight, when they where there in the sunlight, she could forget it even existed- ignore the presence of that menacing deformity that caused her to recoil from even more than his silence did… She could act normally then. Thinking about it only when she had to. But when she was alone, and she had time to think about this tortured soul who had somehow found his way into her life… She felt… But she didn't think… She didn't WANT to think…

'I'm not… like, afraid of Vincent?'

Impulsively she grabbed a pillow and held it close to her chest. She tried to stop them, but suddenly the memories came flooding back.

_A dead-white, sickly face, collapsed in a rotting coffin… The unmistakeable stench of death pervading everywhere, thicker than the air around, repulsive, vomitus… The gaunt cheeks, huge, hollow haunting eyes snapping open… Full of pain, hunger, and hatred… a skeletal hand grasping feebly at the air… Then… The horrific THING rising, shattering the damp wood as it swung lopsidedly towards her, monstrous, deformed, coated in the thick, dark stains of blood covering the grotesque, writhing, disjointed fingers desperately reaching out to her… throat…?!_

__'But he's not like that now!' Yuffie screamed defiantly. 

As her shrill cry echoed back at her, Yuffie suddenly snapped out of the reverie that had bound her, in an instant bringing her usual mentality, the odd fit of brooding over. Why the hell was she thinking those stupid thoughts anyway? She was embarrassed now, and angry. Everybody knew Vincent was, like, nothing like the creature he was when they had found him in that coffin… What had Cloud called him? An empty shell, lacking a heart or soul, eaten up by his own grief. Once more the memory caused her to shudder. She knew he'd been, like, through a lot, but he was SO much better now. Yuffie had, like, NO right to think about him like that. But… Had she really thought about what she was doing when she come to stay with him?

Briefly the panic returned. What was she doing here? The images of the claw began to flash before her once again- only to be immediately squashed by Yuffie's shaky, yet sensible (for her) side. No way! Whatever he was like… then, Vincent was a totally different guy now. She had never really been that interested in his past… (Didn't he like get tortured or experimented on or something?) But she knew enough to realise and convince herself how much he had changed. Besides! He was getting her pizza!

Thoughts of pizza brought the ninja's mind back to the now-blackened marshmallows, quietly smoking as they dripped into the fire. 'AH! MY MARSHMELLOWS!' She yelled, grabbing them from the stick with her bare hands. 'OWOWOWOW! IT'S HOT!' Shrieking in pain, she dropped them in the sand, finally abandoning them as she slunk away to suck on her burnt fingers. _This was all Dads' fault, _She sulked. _It was thinking about HIM that made me forget about them in the first place! _What was that other thing he had said about her? That she needed to learn responsibility? _What the hell did he know? I am like, SO responsible! _Yuffie thought to herself as she began removing her armour to fully reveal the top and shorts underneath. Her decision was based on the fact that the cave was getting quite warm, despite the hesitant pattering of rain she could hear on the rocky roof. 'Aaah…' She sighed, stretching against a massive pillow. Then suddenly, her eyes flew wide open and she sprang to her feet. 'MR BOKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!' The teenager screamed as she ran out the cave mouth, only now remembering her poor bedraggled Chocobo that she had left on the other side of the island.

+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+

Heh! Bet you're dying to know what happened to Vincy and the pizza, huh? Well, you're just gonna have to wait till next time! And who is Mr Boki, you ask? Yuffie's Chocobo, you say? HOW DO YOU KNOW? What? We told you? Damn… That was our suspense for this chapter! Oh, well… How do you know he's just a Chocobo, then? How do you KNOW he isn't something more? Ok, ok, we'll leave you alone and shut up now. Since you already KNOW the summary of what happens next chapter, Vincy's a Pervert! (hehe… ^^;;;), we can't be bothered telling you again. So you'll have to read it, won't you? Yes! Until then, SEE YA! ^_^

+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+


	3. Vincy's a Pervert! (In loud and annoying...

He avoided going back for a while, but eventually realised that one way or the other he was going to have to return, and getti

Vincy's a Pervert! (In loud and annoying tones)

+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+

We're back! And WE know what happens! (For once… ^ ^;;;) If you finally wish to solve the mystery of the pizzas, read on! And if you wish to know whether Mr Boki was actually a Chocobo, also read on! And if you want lots of Vincy thinking stuff, and all that other stuff we promised, READ ON! Okay, okay, we'll let you read now… read on…

Oh! And we still don't own Vincy (except in our minds). Nor FF7, to our disappointment. But as we have previously pointed out, we DO own his pottery! POTTERY AHOY!

+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+

Vincent avoided going back for a while… But he eventually realised that inevitably, one way or the other, he was going to have to return- and getting the pizzas would be the most painless method of going about it. 

It wasn't like he was doing it for Yuffie… And he could even afford her enormous demands, as well. As he had roamed the dusky cliffs and crannies of his island home, various mutated creatures regularly assaulted him, obviously past experiments of Shinra, gone feral. He dealt with these monsters as quickly and humanely as he could; gone from him now was the burning hatred that had inflamed before, that pent up rage that frightened even him, his constant companion in so many battles.

No… He knew what these animals had been through, what they had been, and what, through torturous experiments, had become now. He could tell by crazed gleam burning in their eyes that they were in pain, driven insane by what had been done to them, so that all they could do was lash out at whatever surrounded them… But inside that lay a terrible desire to die.

He had once shared that feeling himself.

But now it had been months since he had transformed into the dark beasts that lurked beneath his trembling psyche. He didn't come out on these hills to kill. There were many reports, confirmed by the distorted life forms, of an abandoned research centre somewhere on this island.

Vincent had made it his work. It was the only thing he could do, the only thing he could think of to pay for what he had done. The thought of some other creature, trapped like he was, but with a mind still not totally decayed… aware of what it was going through… Vincent pushed the painful memories from his mind. That was all in the past.

He could never again live with other human beings. The few who had accepted had got over his monstrous appearance; forgiven him, though he could never deserve it, for the terrible things he had done… yet they too had left him. He didn't blame them, but still… He had never really been close to those bright others who had so unexpectedly intruded on life; so young, with hopes and hearts and dreams ahead of them. They had all grown during that time, but none so much as himself. When he had been with them, though they never knew it, he had shared a bond, an affinity- they had given his life meaning and hope. When those smiling faces had surrounded him, he had somehow fooled himself into thinking… that he was no longer alone.

But afterwards… As they had been torn from him, turned their backs and walked away, he felt like a part of him had been wrenched away with them. What had he been thinking?! He screamed in his mind. Did he really think that after this was over, they would accept somebody like HIM? What vague fantasy had he painted of the future? Had he really supposed that he would be anything other than he was… alone. He had wanted to do something, anything. He had wanted to run after them, to call out their names, to reach out to them, to scream at them not to abandon him to the life of suffering that he had lead before. Didn't they realise that he… needed them! He needed them so much… But he couldn't. He had sunk down into the dust, and for the first time in seven years he had cried.

It had taken him a long time to accept it- a long time of wandering and pain. Trying to forget the hurt caused by trusting them. But now he understood their fault. It was his. It wasn't for him to be loved and included; happiness was not a feeling meant for him, for someone who committed such atrocities. All he could do live out his miserable life. He could never even thank them for the brief glimpse of light they had brought to his dark soul.

But then… She had come. Vincent vaguely remembered Yuffie. No, actually that was incorrect. Yuffie was not the kind of person you remembered 'vaguely'; she was the kind of person you either remembered distinctly or you had never met her at all. So, Vincent remembered Yuffie distinctly.

He had avoided her back then. There was something about her youth, her naivety, her confidence and loudness that reminded him of something, a long time ago… Something he didn't want to think about. He remembered watching her from afar. He was never involved in any of her frequent skirmishes, but it used to amuse him to see her running and screaming after Cait Sith, or celebrating in such a way that made it clear to everyone that they had obtained a new materia. But at the same time, it hurt him. They had been so alike, yet so totally different. Her presence made him uncomfortable- he recalled once trying to explain his feelings to her when she had unexpectedly come up to talk to him. This had never happened before; despite his cold exterior, Vincent was inwardly nervous, and somehow afraid. He said nothing, just stood and listened while her happy chatter washed over, terrified that if he said anything he would scare her away and she would never come back. But as the time passed he grew more comfortable. Was it… acceptance he saw in her eyes? So when she yelled in her usual cheerful brisk manner for him to reply, he couldn't help himself. He started hesitantly at first, but he had said far more than meant. He began to open up, to talk things he saw in her that he would never have told anybody. But then he looked down at her face.

The expression of boredom, horror and disdain imprinted in those brown irises was unmistakeable. He shut up immediately, feeling embarrassed, hurt, and furious with himself. She quickly made a thoughtless excuse and escaped. She never to him again. He never spoke to her. He had assumed she now hated him, and did as much as he could to stay out of her way.

Until now. What was she doing here? He had been alone for so long. Then she had voluntarily approached him, literally leaping upon him after such a long absence…so long spent avoiding him. It made no sense. What was it the girl had mentioned? She had spoken so fast in that flurried introduction that he could barely understand her. That her father had kicked her out? The bright lights of the neighbouring town grew closer, momentarily distracting him. _That would be logical… _He reasoned. Another detail about Yuffie that time had glossed over was her pure mind-numbing annoyingness. It was not unthinkable that the others would refuse to take her in. _And I would obviously be her last resort… _

But whatever happened she needed to go. That much Vincent was sure of. Shaking his head, with his sable hair flying out behind him. He had been alone too long to trust again. The more he grew accustomed to having her around, the more it would hurt when she eventually left. No. He would get her the pizza, she would stay the night, and the very first thing tomorrow morning he would escort her to Cloud and Tifa's Villa in Costa Del Sol. With that he strode into the town, not even noticing the strange looks shot at him by the people.

********************

The stack of pizzas was warm against his skin as though the cardboard casing of the uppermost package was by now sodden, as was everything else about Vincent as he trudged, disheartened, through the rain. It was more than once during the long walk home that he asked himself why he was doing this, Yuffie's remarkable talent for screaming temporarily forgotten in his annoyance. He was therefore not in the best of moods when, finally, he neared the top of the hill on which his cave was situated. But nevertheless, he was surprised to see a brief glimpse of firelight dancing on the cave walls. _Looks like she has more sense than I thought…_ Cautiously he peered into rocky interior of his home. He was even more surprised, however, when he plunged into the flickering darkness, by a sight that made him jerk back, though he didn't know why.

Yuffie was sprawled out on the furry pillows, fast asleep, but that was not what amazed him. Part of it was quiet she was when she slept. Deep down in has sub-conscious, Vincent had been secretly wondering whether she made noise even when she was not awake to make it. She seemed almost a different person when her immediate surroundings were not echoing with the sound of her own voice. But what shocked him more was that she had actually removed the armour she wore like a second skin. He realised this was the first time he had ever really seen her in the clothes she wore underneath. Vincent's philosophical thought of the moment: _Yuffie's clothes were somewhat like God- you were vaguely aware of their existence, but you didn't generally come into contact with them during a normal lifespan…_

Even more, though, all of Yuffie's materia save her prized Odin were gone, presumably hidden amongst her things. Odin was nearly slipping out of the grasp of her right hand as only a sleeper can a sleeper can allow.

Hesitantly, he took a step forward. He was now close enough to make out the details, and what he saw took his breath away.

Soft fire shone angelically on Yuffie's sleeping features, the golden glow lighting her entire form. Stripped of the menacing armour that she wore day in, day out, she looked very different. It was as if the tough, confident front she showed to the world stripped as well; to reveal a slight, delicate girl, so different to the shuriken wielding maniac she was in her waking hours. She stirred in her sleep, slowly rolling on to her side, her silky brown hair half-dried by the fire moving with her. A couple of fluffy strands drifting over her face. Lying there so peaceful… She was almost…

Impulsively, Vincent reached down, not even knowing why, to brush the hair out of eyes.

Well, that's what he had meant to do- but the moment he came within an inch of her he was interrupted by a large, feathery, moving object (that reeked with the unmistakeable stench of Chocobo) slamming into him from behind, bowling him over and knocking him straight down onto Yuffie's sleeping form.

Brown eyes snapped open.

'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! VINCY'S A PERVERT!'

+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+

See! We eventually got around to it- but will happen next? What terrible fate will befall our poor Vincy? Find out in the next chapter, AS YET UNTITLED! (We refuse to be trapped by our own stupidity again- we leeeeeeeeeearn from mistakes, we learn! Aren't we bright little cookies!) It's cute how Yuffers' thoughts are light-hearted and silly, even her serious ones, while Vincy's are all… Deep, dark and serious! And the Chocobo even made its appearance! And there was a pissed off ninja! AND we got rid of all the untoward clones- WOW! We're going well… Until next inspired, FAREWELL! (There might even be pottery in the next one- but we're not promising anything! So you'll just have to keep on hoping!)

+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+


	4. All Hell Breaks Loose In Amusing and Pai...

'AAAAAAAAAAAH

Chapter 4- All Hell Breaks Loose in amusing and painful… Ways

+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+

WHOO HOO! No, Selphie has not taken over the fic- the fic is officially safe from Selphie. (unless we're feeling random ^_^) The reason for this great and indescribable joy is… We have… A NEW CHAPTER!!!!! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN GODS KNOW HOW LONG! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Er… excuse us for that little lapse of sanity. We have waited, have waited so long. We have discussed during classes what will happen with great anticipation. We have made up new, cruel and horribly unusual tortures for our little Vincy-wincy. They tried to give us tests, THEY TRIED TO MAKE US STUDY, and… we did… ^ ^;;; That left us no time for the fic. But now, we have NO MORE TESTS, and… DE DE DUM! Holidays are here! Fic, HERE WE COME! We won't tell you what's in this chapter other than the Vincent torture. After being put through so much to write it, we wish to put you through something similar… ^_^ Actually, it's a pathetic attempt at revenge for you, the great and almighty reader, haven't actually done. So, don't mind us. And also…

We apologise. WE'RE SORRY WE'RE SORRY WE'RE SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG BUT- now it's here, so… READ ON!

+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+

'AAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? VINCY'S A PERVERT!'

Vincent recoiled in shock, jerking back his head from the sudden blast of noise. He had no idea what was going on, and was about to say so when he suddenly realised exactly what position he was in. It was a very compromising position, to say the least. Immediately the pale face turned bright red. '…I-'

'WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?' Without another word, Vincent was swiftly and violently ejected by means of a solid kick to the stomach. As Vincent staggered backwards, he was vaguely aware through the pain of Yuffie's furiously shrieking.

'Damn, missed!'

Scrambling to his feet, various confused thoughts raced through Vincent's mind. WHAT was going on? HOW did this happen? Here the mental tone became increasingly more frantic. WHY was there a Chocobo in his cave? SINCE WHEN- Another swift kick to the rear sent him sprawling down among the pizza slices now scattered on the floor. Snatching up a pillow, Yuffie chased after him and proceeded to beat him with it, punctuating her blows with enraged shouts. 'HOW… DID… THIS… HAPPEN?' She screamed in perfect imitation of Vincent's previous thoughts.

_Oh my gawd! _Thus were the words chasing through the thief's mind as the pillow rained down her wrath upon the helpless Vincent's head. Like, nothing like this had EVER happened to Yuffie before… and she was pretty sure this was the way you were supposed to act- wasn't it? Oh well, like it mattered. This was kinda fun… Anyways, like Vincent even knew about that stuff! Besides- she had caught him LYING ON TOP OF HER! If that wasn't sus, WHAT WAS? Righteous indignation filling every vein of her teenage body she grinned with evil satisfaction at the yelp issued from Vincent accompanying her latest whack. Hey- Vincent wasn't being fun… He should of started protesting his innocence by now. _Then I can get him to confess his guilt, and then… and then…lets just see what he thinks about THAT! _

Vincent wasn't thinking too much at the moment, except for how much a pillow could hurt when sufficient force was applied to striking one repeatedly over the head. Flailing wildly to protect himself from the thief's terrible retribution, Vincent was being forced backwards.

Vincent was still (barely) conscious enough to wonder why the hitherto bearable pain had suddenly intensified. Vincent winced as his back hit the wall, slumping against it for much-needed support. His crimson eyes snapped open with shock as his claw came into contact with something soft, warm and squishy.

Chocobos don't tend to be too well endowed on the intelligence side of things. Despite living through multiple materia raids, escapes and frequent tantrums, Yuffie's Chocobo was no exception. This statement was proved by the fact it had not yet run away from its unruly mistress, and this furthered by the even more conclusive evidence that it had not escaped from its aforesaid unruly mistress in her current state. This Chocobo did, however, have a breaking point. This breaking point was reached when something large, metallic and spiky stabbed it in its sensitive region of its tail feathers, an area generally associated with the attack of other sparring Chocobo males. Chocobos have many basic instincts, one of which being that if someone pecks you in the tail feathers, you peck back. Harder. Much harder. 

When Yuffie's anger had first erupted, Vincent had thought that all hell had broken lose. He was in fact wrong. All hell broke lose round about now. Any previous rage directed at him paled in comparison to what he was about to experience. Imagine you were to sleep on a bed of sharp, pointy nails. Times the pain by 10, and add to the image being whacked in the head by two more spiky beds. You may possibly be coming close to how Vincent felt at the current moment. 

In the cave, there was one, huge, greatly enraged Chocobo that felt its dominance was being questioned. There was also a screaming, hysterical and very pissed off ninja who didn't have any idea in hell what was going on, but somehow knew that in some way Vincent was at blame, and if she ever managed to escape this torture with her life, she was going to make that VERY clear to him. 

This section of the cave also had a couple of chairs, hand-hewn shelves, a table, etc, but they didn't last very long. Their destruction didn't really occupy the space in anybody's mind, however, as they all had far more important things to worry about. And in the midst of it all, there was Vincent. Poor, downtrodden, bewildered and confused Vincent. Vincent had just about had enough. So when he saw the Chocobo heading toward the fire in a blind rage, he wasn't particularly sympathetic.

_WHERE IS HE? WHAT IS GOING ON? WHY IS THE CHOCOBO GOING PHYCO? VINCENT IS SURE GONNA PAY FOR THIS! I know that bringing the Chocobo inside was probably a mistake, but this is completely ruining my cute, Shoujo, getting pissed off scene- _An inhuman shriek jolted Yuffie's usually uninterruptible train of thought; and the fast reflexes of a ninja caused her to jerk her head around. Suddenly her instincts seemed to fail her, as the hideous smell of smouldering feathers infiltrated her nostrils, smothering her senses. For a while, it was all she could think of. Then, through the smoke that stung her eyes, a shape came into focus- and she could finally comprehend what was happening around her. That the shape, rushing at her, limping and spasming in a way that just very wrong, was…

_Mr Boki_…

Time seemed unperceivably slow as the next few events unfolded before her horrified brown eyes. Frozen in a state of shock, she could only stare as the massive Chocobo charged towards her. He was near enough for her to pick out the grotesque details… The whites of Mr Boki's eyeballs rolling wildly in his skull, the indescribable pain clear… The slight but sickening frothing at the edge of his beak… And held out unnaturally at the giant bird's side, the charred, black, bloody, raw foot, a shrivelled claw dangling by only a tendon onto the unrecognisable stump. Despite the havoc-filled situation, Yuffie found herself shuddering at this bloody mess somehow filled up her range of vision. It seemed to be far away, but a part of her knew that it would be there any second, and tiny voice of lasting sanity told her; you're going to die. It's going to kill you. You're going to be gored upon its beak. _That beak…if you think about, it has such a cruelly hooked__end to it. I never really noticed it before… _Then, as the realisation hit her, a thought came unbidden to her mind, almost calmly. _I wish I'd said goodbye to dad… and… poor Vincent…_

Without knowing she was doing it, Yuffie screamed.

+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+

Ooh! Cliffhanger! And, thank gods, you wait who knows how long for the next one this time. So, what's gonna happen to Yuffers? What do you think? Who votes she gets impaled? *All put up their hands and run off with Vincent* Damn… Maybe that wasn't such a good idea… We wanted him for ourselves! And… about the fire. A certain annoying little sister complained that poor Mr Boki could not possibly be so horribly burned (trust a sister to think of something like that!) Um… It was a really, really HOT fire, okay? Vincent used it to… um… to fire his pottery (the pottery returns once more!) In the next chapter, there will be… Charades! And inanimate objects dancing! Now you don't know whether we're lying or not, do you? And, we guess we MAY have to save Yuffie. Maybe. Possibly. AND NO, THAT'S NOT YOUR CHOICE ANYMORE! ^_^ 

+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+


	5. Chaos

Chapter 5- Chaos 

Vincent had watched unfeelingly as the Chocobo charged towards the fire. From his current viewpoint, that being from the ground (covered with rubble and various bruises), he couldn't really bring himself to care. He was in pain and he. Was. ANGRY. Too angry, in fact, to be worried that he actually was this angry- too angry to even notice that he hadn't been this angry in months. Lots of months. Over a year, come to that. 

As he slowly staggered to his feet, bracing himself against the wall, he could feel something building inside him. Something harsh and uncontrollable. As the shrill, terrible cry of the Chocobo pierced his mind, it sent him dizzying, spiralling over the edge, and the darkness within him was suddenly released in a mind-blowing tide. Distantly he could hear himself make an inhuman sound, halfway between an animalistic roar and a scream of agony. But that was far away, because all he was capable of comprehending was the excruciating pain of muscles stretching, of THINGS bursting out of back, his skin, his face, warping and melding. His bones reforming and rearranging themselves, sickeningly, nauseatingly. It hurt- Oh, it hurt, he had forgotten how much. He felt the familiar blood-rush to a brain that was no longer his. Then finally the last shred control was ripped away from him and with a scream of defiance he became Chaos Beast. 

Yuffie shrieked, sobbing almost hysterically as she pressed herself harder into the wall, trying to make herself disappear into the stone- as far away as possible from the... the THING that had thrown itself between her and the Chocobo. Strangely skin-like wings batted her face and body, clawing a thin red line across her cheek, and she shrank back further. The wind made by their dreadful battering of the air buffeted her and blew her hair into her clenched eyes. Ohgodohgodohgod! In the darkness she heard a bodily thump, then the high-pitched whine of a Chocobo in pain receding into the night. She tore open her eyes and saw possibly the most revolting sight she had ever laid witness to. A body, twisting and melting; horrible, impossibly grotesque shapes slipping into each other, dwindling and shrinking in a mass of blood and muscle... And then there was Vincent. Lying still and white on the cold stone floor. 

She didn't know what to say. She just stood, trembling, looking down at his pale body stretched out on the ground. Somehow, through the mist of shock, one logical connection surfaced. So that... was Chaos Beast? Yuffie had never actually seen it, but Tifa had told her once... Suddenly, Yuffie's face contorted, and running out into the rain, she was noisily sick. 

Walking slowing back inside, Yuffie wiped her mouth on the back of her hand, her face almost as ashen as Vincent's. She stared at him silently for a few seconds, unable to move. Then it occurred to her that Vincent hadn't moved. 

`Oh my gawd! He's DEAD!' Without stopping for thought, the young ninja threw herself on top of his body with an ear-splitting wail, cradling his slumped head in her arms as she cried into his hair. 

`You're dead.... It's all your fault! Actually...' She paused a second, then caught her shaky breath. `It's all MY fault! Why did you do that for me? Why, you stupid idiot!' Here she starting shaking him roughly between sobs. `I could have handled Mr Boki! You know I could have! And then you did it in such a gross and icky way and you looked really scary and you stepped on my pizza, and now... you're DEAD!' 

Her voice became almost unintelligible through the tears. `I'm so sorry I bossed you around and whacked you and sent you out in the rain, but I was only doing what I was supposed to do and in MANGA giant Chocobos never come and kill people!' She opened her overflowing eyes and grabbed Vincent's collar and jerked his face level with her own. She opened her mouth and prepared to hit a new crescendo. 

`YOU'RE-' She looked down to see bewildered crimson eyes looking up at her. She faltered, her voice tiny and trembling. `-alive?' 

Vincent was groggy and confused. They were the words for it; he always was after Chaos was in his mind. And that's it, isn't it? He thought, ignoring the events going on around him. When he was Chaos, he wasn't him... Idiot. You shouldn't have done it again, not after so long. Always drains your strength, and... you promised. Never again. Why...? With a gasp, his head was jerked upward, but he didn't have time to reflect on the effect that had on the pounding in his brain because at that moment, he experienced the single loudest sound he had ever heard from Yuffie- and that constituted as the single loudest noise he had heard, ever. `YOU'RE-' 

He opened his eyes, wincing for the sake of his eardrums, and looked at her. She was so close; he could see the shock register in her features, her eyes swollen from crying, blood from a cut mingling with the tears running down her cheeks. `-alive?' With a squeal, he was dropped, the hard floor contacting painfully with his neck, and he could hear her scrabbling backwards on her hands and knees into a corner. He couldn't quite make out the hysterics coming from her direction, so they more or less washed over him. Something about how selfish he was letting her think he was dead but nevertheless, the high squeaks resounded in his mind like daggers...GOD his head hurt! 

`Yuffie?' he rasped. There was silence. `I need... some water.' He couldn't help but the notice the way she avoided his gaze, made sure not to be near him, crossed the other side of the cave. And the one glimpse he had of her eyes- they were frightened. But even more unnerving was the complete and utter lack of noise she made as she walked over to the dingy water pot he kept by the cave mouth. 

Oh, no... She would have seen him, wouldn't she? What else where you expecting? A voice in his mind mocked him mercilessly. She would have become repulsed by you sooner or later- she already was. So why not skip ahead to outright fear? She was going home in the morning, wasn't she? Well, now she definitely is... What the hell were you thinking? Did you ever have any hope? You've already destroyed any chance you've ever had... Any chance of what? There was never a chance anyway... She hated you then and you've made sure she hates you now... Vincent knew these things... But that didn't stop it from hurting. 

He was desperate for anything to break the terrible stillness. `I didn't mean to...' He spoke softly, barely more than a whisper. Her head didn't turn. `I promised myself I wouldn't... It reminds me.' His voice rose at the memory. `Of the tests...of the tests, and the experiments and the injections, and... the coffin...' 

`Don't tell me!' 

Vincent snapped his head up to stare at her. She was shaking, and her voice was chocked with tears. 

`I don't wanna know! I don't wanna KNOW about your stupid past! I don't wanna know about the coffin, or the claw, or Hojo, or the disgusting things you change into! Don't tell me, just don't tell me! MOST of all, I DON'T wanna know about CHAOS!' 

Vincent was taken aback, shocked. Then he realised he was angry. `You... You think I like it? You think I like having something in my mind that can surface whenever it wants to? You think I LIKE having something that can take over my body, that I can't control?' He got unsteadily to his feet, shouting now, but he didn't care, neither knew nor cared what he was saying. Why did he even tell her? How could SHE understand? What- for once Vincent didn't think about what he had done to deserve it- what he had BEEN through? 

`You think I LIKE being a freak? You think I LIKE been hated? You think I like it, having every goddamn person on the goddamn planet being AFRAID of me? You... you think I like THIS?' With that final shout, he thrust his gleaming, bloodstained claw into Yuffie's face. But instead of the expected scream, she just stood there, blinking at it. Then her features turned pale, and she fell backwards. 

Even as he was running to catch her, Vincent regretted what he had just done. He hadn't meant it, any of it. He was stupid to let himself lose control... Somebody like him, somebody who had caused so much pain to so many. What right did HE have to yell at her, about something he had actually deserved? How could he have been so selfish? He shouldn't have tried to unload his burden of guilt on her, and when she said she didn't want it he had attacked her. No matter what she pretended to be, she was only young girl with a tough front. She was still just an innocent. Another innocent who he had hurt. 

The remorse from his past combined with the shame he had so recently acquired, crushing the last of that terrible mood which had held him in its grip. Desperately he reached for her body, falling in what seemed to be excruciatingly slow motion away from him. Suddenly a bout of dizziness and nausea stuck him once again. Stumbling, he tried to keep his balance. However, one of his feet got caught in his cape. The resulting jerk sent him sprawling forward. To his immense horror, he landed on top of Yuffie. Again. 

Yuffie chose this precise moment to recover. 

Vincent winced, expecting her to cry or shrink away from him. Although he should have known better, he did not even vaguely anticipate the reaction that followed. 

`Oh my gawd! I let down my guard for one second, and you're at it AGAIN!' 

Vincent cringed. Clenching his eyes shut, he waited for the blow to fall. He was surprised when after a few seconds he remained unharmed. He fearfully opened one eye. Yuffie was looking right up at him, the look in her large brown eyes impossible to read. Then she spoke, calmly and quietly. 

`Vincent- are you going to get off now?' 

Feeling bewildered, Vincent quickly got to his feet. Yuffie really was unpredictable... 

The girl was silent for a few seconds as she sat up and looked around the room. Then her eyes fastened on one thing. 

`My... pizza... has been CRUSHED! MY PIZZA! Vincent- this is all your fault!' 

She crawled across the room and started to scrabble through the debris where the pizza in question lay scattered. Holding up one sand-encrusted slice, Yuffie began to wail. 

Through the tears, Vincent could make out only a few of the individual words, but the message was clear. 

`I was so hungry, too...' she sobbed. Then she turned to glare balefully at Vincent. `This- is all your fault. This is all your fault! You will get more pizza tomorrow!' 

Vincent blinked. `But... You're going home tomorrow-` 

`NO, I am NOT!' Yuffie snapped. Vincent found himself raising his arms to protect himself against the pizza missiles the irate ninja had hurled at him. 

Vincent had changed his mind by this point due to the extreme mood swings Yuffie was having. She was not unpredictable; she was completely insane! 

`The only place we are going tomorrow, mister, is to find MY Chocobo which YOU lost!' 

Vincent's memories of that particular occurrence were markedly different, but he figured that it was futile to argue. Instead, he opted to keep his mouth shut and stay out of trouble. 

`Besides, after today's,' she looked at him in disgust, `REVOLTING performance, it's clear that you have been alone for like, WAY too long! Don't try to argue; you need to learn how to behave like a civilised human being, and more than that, a gentleman. No matter what it takes, no matter HOW much ultimate personal risk from weird freaky pervert I'm at, I'm gonna teach you!' She shrieked, continuing to pelt him with the trodden pieces that might have tasted good once upon a time. 

By some superior force Vincent managed not to groan, but only just. Why him? Why HIM? 

`And no, buster, you will clean up this mess!' 

Vincent stared at her helplessly. `But-' 

`Do it! NOW!' 

Vincent sighed, realising that he had no choice in the matter. 

`Yes, Yuffie...' 


End file.
